Pay Shaming its a Thing. And it’s been going on since the beginning of time.
OK, let me try to explain just a little more. When you as a consultant speak on a subject your words have value because they are connected to knowledge. When a Pay Shamer or Poor Mouth speaks on the same subject just words come out of their mouths and those words have no value, that is why they come to you.
You are a consultant, and one part of being a consultant means you talk with your mouth and knowledge comes out of your mouth. That knowledge is your value that knowledge took a lifetime to acquire or you have been educated at great expense in a specific area. You have value you need to be paid for your words.
No matter what you call them, Pay Shamers are all the same, they are weasels, shim shamers, flim flamers, low-level scam artists and they are always out to get something from someone to benefit themselves,,,,while all the time hoarding or keeping their money “wealth” away from you the consultant.
Let's discuss the first of the many money shamers that I have run into time and time again. I have been a consultant of sorts for over 25 years the scam or fraud never changes but the people do.
Poor Mouth, noun:
a person who claims to be poor in order to benefit from others. "I am not crying the poor mouth but only telling it as it is"
verb: claim to be poor. "the poor-mouthing museum is not exactly eager to publicize this good fortune"
I love these people they are like the baker who owns the bread store who every night walks home with a loaf of bread under each arm then complains about how hungry he and his family is.
The Poor Mouth is the lowest of the low they come to you asking for free stuff, but they are typically doing much better than you are. The scam is to try to make you feel bad about yourself because they are broke. These people are not broke and have no idea what being broke is actually like.
These people are easy to spot, on the outside they seem to live better than you, a house, 3 cars, 2 income household, etc. But it is never enough they want more and more and in my case as a business entrepreneur I get these people sniffing around at least every few months.
These people want to start that business but don’t want to pay you for all your wisdom in order to start their business. They act as if your words are free, as if the knowledge of your words just comes out of thin air. When in actuality those words are attached to complicated thoughts and knowledge that took a lifetime of blood sweat and tears to acquire.
How it starts: they come to you with all sorts of questions (consultation) and what seems to be work but really it isn’t work because they are not paying you and most likely won’t pay you if you answer those questions. When you let them know your rate for this consultation they will look at you like your the bad guy and then they will give you a reason for not being able to pay you. Here are some of my favorite reasons: their money is tied up, or it is going towards their retirement fund, or it is for the kids college and my favorite one is they have money but it is in their emergency fund. This is their sacred money that they just can’t touch.
Poor Mouths are also know as the takers (The Takers will be the second post) they are very selfish and that makes them tone def. They lack the basic understanding of how they sound. Here is some advice for all you Poor Mouths we hear you saying that your life, your health and your children are more important than my life, my health and my children and that you want more and more and more because in reality you are a scam artist.
Resolution: This person is horrible and you should hear them out totally and let them know you will get back to them. You can answer them in many ways the simplest is to tell them that you are still building your business and being you have ½ of what they have that you discussed working for free with your family and everyone thought that was a bad idea. Or just tell them to F-off that works too.